Patience is the key?

Have you ever felt so wasted? I don't mean drunk but you just feel so unaccomplished, you're not contented and there is this tugging inside you that's constantly rubbing off?

I feel so shitty and stupid now.

This was what happened. I was asked to go for some party called blase attitude at newsroom bar last night. This is my first time clubbing, or rather going to club publicly. When i was home, getting changed and ready to get out of the house, i just had this gut feeling that i wouldn't be able to get in, but this was too exciting for me to adhere to my instincts. Unfortunately, this gut feeling of mine was accurate, so i couldnt get in.

Not only was i unable to enter, i've just throwed sixteen dollars away. The sixteen dollars was for the cover charge.

There was about 15 of us and out of the 15, ronald and i were the only ones who couldnt get in, because we're underage. I'm not going into details about what happened to Ron, just to respect his privacy. But because of both of us, marcus, amos, leon and ian stayed outside with us most of the time. I feel so terrible that they didnt get to enjoy themselves fully because of us. I just want to thank them for even coming along with me. And ronald, sorry about it all but thank you for coming along with me.

Sometimes, i just dont understand humans, we are definitely fully aware that we do not have the capability of doing some things that's within our calibre but still, we insist on trying it and at the end when things don't go our way, we feel so unaccomplished and frustrated. Why can't i just wait for a few more months before i can get in legally? Eighteen's really not very far from now. Should have been more patient.

Indeed, as the axiom goes, "curiosity kills the cat". Teenagers are all brimming with curiosity, and i'm one, a teenager who has never seen the world inside a club and would dearly want to see the world inside.

I'm not blaming anyone, not myself, but i just need to vent this out so that i'd feel much better. But i've learned one lesson from this, never take the second step unless you're certain the first step will hold you through to the second one.

What an experience! I thought i'd get beginner's luck!

I'm ending here i've got to do my project due tomorrow. Cheers!