O.. thou fragile life

Indeed, life is really very fragile. One moment you might be fine and the next moment you might be bed-ridden or at it's worst, "oh shit, i'm dead! Hello God!"

Knowing myself, ever since i was young, i was a kid who was pretty much injury proned because of the activities that i engage in. But i've never recalled once, getting myself into so many minor freak accidents as compared to this year.

To actually jote down all those 'memorable' freak accidents i've got myself in would actually date back to the time when i was thirteen, secondary one...

I was on my way home, i alighted from the bus just outside my house and then, i didnt know why i'd do it but, i've foolishly jaywalked in front of the bus and obviously forgetting about the on coming traffic on the next lane so...the next thing i knew was that i woke up underneath a tree and there were a couple of people surrounding me. Frantically, i looked around and cried, "i've got to go home!" But some stranger held me down and explained that they had called the ambulance. Yes, the ambulance came eventually after a couple of minutes and i was brought to the hospital. In the ambulance, thoughts just sped past my head and i was trying to recall what actually happened before i landed underneath the tree.

Thank God, i just suffered a few grazes and abrasions. But i have to admit i'm still at a lost about what actually happened.

Next foolish accident that i've got myself into was something similar to the one above, except that it occured while i'm conscious. This accident happened just outside Faith Assembly and i was going to jaywalk, AGAIN. This time, i was well too absorbed into trying to message and has slipped my mind that the road was two-way and hence, i didnt look out for the traffic that was coming towards me and a car just merely scraped past me. The first thing that came to my mind was, "Shit, what the hell just hit me?" It seemed as if 10 rugby players just came charging towards me. The casualties - a hair line crack on one of the toes on my left foot and an abrasion on my right elbow.

The last time i didnt experience the feeling of getting hit by a car, so this time i know how freaking awful it is to get hit by a car. P.S I'm still jaywalking.

Thirdly, this happened at the start of the year. Simply said, i drank myself silly and then i didnt know what was going on and the next thing i knew, i lost half of my 2 front teeth by the next morning.

Embarassing and stupid. So from then on, drinks, moderate please.

Fourthly, it just happened on saturday, after muay thai training. I thought of strengthening up my shins, so i went over to kick the bundled bamboo poles that was tied to a pillar. I kicked it thrice with my left leg and then it hurts, so i switched leg and started kicking it with my right. I kicked it thrice continuously and then the next moment i see a hole in my shin and bloody just started to spew out. First thoughts that came to my mind, "God, i'm bleeding...bleeding..BADLY"

So i got the little crater in my shin stitched, with four stitches (OUCH). And i have to just stay at home for about 2 weeks, isolating myself from any vigorous activites until its recovered.

You don't have to tell me, but i know how foolish i am at times. On the contrary, people make mistakes, people play with fire and get hurt. Most of the time we should learn from it. I have no idea what kind of freak or stupid accidents i'm going to get myself in, but surely i have to be more careful.

I pray that i wouldn't get myself into such accidents again.

God protect me in my every step. Amen.

New blog skin! How's it?

The past, my present and future feelings

I thought of a new start. I thought of a good start to a new chapter of life. I presumed that a new chapter of life, the negative things of the past will disintegrate. I thought i'd have a refreshed perspective of life. Isn't it so? Or is it a dream? Do i continue to dream?

It's been said umpteen times that we should always look ahead in life, leave the past as it is; behind. Is every second, the clock ticks away, the past of our life that we should just leave behind? I asked myself this question too many times, i doubt i can confidently churn out a definite answer.

Paradoxically, we live today that we might live for the future. Strange isn't it?

I've tried to bury the past and keep only the good memories alive, but how is it that the present is occasionally the reenactment of the past? Is it human to make the mistakes we knew we were making? If that's the case, do you call that sin? How is it that unwittingly, we plunge ourselves into this deluge of mistakes we try to avoid?

Am i appropriate in my reactions towards how i feel? Or am i just being over-sensitive, worst still, being self-delusional? Yet it isn't incriminating to feel this way, however, it's detrimental.

I don't want to be alone. I feel outcasted. But was it self-inflicted? Or is it situations and circumstances that sporadically compels me to mixed feelings?

If life is about living for today, in turn for the future, i pray that what i'm feeling is a symptom of stress and after the exams, life will re-organise.