The past, my present and future feelings

I thought of a new start. I thought of a good start to a new chapter of life. I presumed that a new chapter of life, the negative things of the past will disintegrate. I thought i'd have a refreshed perspective of life. Isn't it so? Or is it a dream? Do i continue to dream?

It's been said umpteen times that we should always look ahead in life, leave the past as it is; behind. Is every second, the clock ticks away, the past of our life that we should just leave behind? I asked myself this question too many times, i doubt i can confidently churn out a definite answer.

Paradoxically, we live today that we might live for the future. Strange isn't it?

I've tried to bury the past and keep only the good memories alive, but how is it that the present is occasionally the reenactment of the past? Is it human to make the mistakes we knew we were making? If that's the case, do you call that sin? How is it that unwittingly, we plunge ourselves into this deluge of mistakes we try to avoid?

Am i appropriate in my reactions towards how i feel? Or am i just being over-sensitive, worst still, being self-delusional? Yet it isn't incriminating to feel this way, however, it's detrimental.

I don't want to be alone. I feel outcasted. But was it self-inflicted? Or is it situations and circumstances that sporadically compels me to mixed feelings?

If life is about living for today, in turn for the future, i pray that what i'm feeling is a symptom of stress and after the exams, life will re-organise.