New toy and mind games

So i've been unrelentingly trying to start a new blog, well i have already started a new blog. It's in livejournal by the way, but you know screw china and their damn net nanny. 

I just cannot bring myself to understand the rationale of blocking livejournal, why block livejournal? Anyway, just for holding purposes i'd just post a few entries here since its the most accessible, even though im using a proxy to type this entry out. Really. Crazy.

It's been 3 months since i've been away from motherland. Never in my entire life have i been away for that long and this experience is rather...interestingly foreign. So, each time i actually leave home, i always feel as if i'd leave a part of me in Singapore then live in this whole new reality that seemed more of a fantasy of its own. 

But since being away for 3 months is not a time too short, this fantasy becomes reality and i realise, hey i'm actually living in china. No parents, no friends that i used to hang out all the time. Its living life on a clean slate, only problem, you just don't know where to start.

If you want to know how's it like for me here. My feelings are rather temperamental and erratic. Some days you feel nothing, some days you realised you've been thinking about home too much and sometimes you might even think to yourself, 'Why the hell am i doing this to myself?' 

Enough said about my feelings, not going to change anything either. So my personal opinion about Dalian. It may not be very accurate but I can vouch that there are people who share the exact sentiments. Metaphorically speaking, Dalian's a newly purchased toy.  For the first few days, you want to play with it and you definitely want to explore the functions of this, in hope that you might find something distinct and really cool about it. 

So days passed and maybe just mere hours, you might think you've found something cool, something you could hang on to that will keep you playing the toy just a little while longer. But all it was, just a delusion of that everybody wants you to believe in. So the moment you wake up from this delusion, 'poof!', novelty's gone.

Like listening to a song on loop, it gets distasteful and finally deafening after awhile and you just wanna trash it.

However, it would be unfair to just criticise on the negative points. I guess i have my fair share of fun when i first came here. I loved the weather, its nice and cold. And I've made some really good friends here, while supposed friends are becoming strangers. 

Drats! I really wished i could fill you in about my life here in Dalian. But I've got a meeting to attend in a couple of minutes and if i was in a better state of mind, this entry would seem a little more sensible and humane. 

As mixed up as this entry seems, so is the fella typing this out.