Christmas is(n't) Christmas...

First of all I just wanna wish all of you, MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS to all! I hope you guys are out there having fun! Because there's no reason why you shouldn't be having fun.

Just my two cents on this year's Christmas for me...is definitely different. Spending Christmas far away from home, friends and family is really quite an experience. Especially if you're going to spend it at a place where nobody celebrates Christmas, let alone understand the true meaning of Christmas. 

During Christmas, usually i'll be busy feasting on honey baked ham and turkey, while for the first time I had steamboat (or hot pot) during Christmas! So strange! And on Christmas eve, i'll probably be counting down to Christmas with my friends, but I'm actually sitting here at home typing this entry out. 

Pardon me, don't get me wrong I know I might sound a little bitter about it, but nonetheless, it's an experience that I'd definitely keep it with me for a long time. 

"Christmas isn't Christmas if it doesn't happen in your heart". This phrase is so applicable at the current point of my life. It would be even more difficult to feel Christmas if the air of Christmas is not singing through your surroundings and when you feel as if you're celebrating it alone.

Picture this. Imagine a dark, cold and silent winter night, with a glass of red wine in hand, laying on a soft, plush cushioned couch, listening to christmas sound tracks such as 'Have yourself a Merry little Christmas' by Cold Play at the comfort of your home. This was the picture i drew in my mind, each time I thought of Christmas. 

But since I'm actually having a glimpse of what i always thought i might spend Christmas someday, i believe it would be more ideal if it's still spent with your loved ones. 

Introspecting on my current mood and feelings, it's hard enough to even remember to wish people I meet,"Merry Christmas!" Pretty unorthodox for a person who enjoys Christmas most.

Anyway, wherever I am or will be, Christmas is Christmas because it's the birth of my Lord Jesus Christ and in remembrance of Him for what He has done for me and mankind - Happy Birthday! 

Happy holidays and season greetings to all! Enjoy your hearts out everyone!

New toy and mind games

So i've been unrelentingly trying to start a new blog, well i have already started a new blog. It's in livejournal by the way, but you know screw china and their damn net nanny. 

I just cannot bring myself to understand the rationale of blocking livejournal, why block livejournal? Anyway, just for holding purposes i'd just post a few entries here since its the most accessible, even though im using a proxy to type this entry out. Really. Crazy.

It's been 3 months since i've been away from motherland. Never in my entire life have i been away for that long and this experience is rather...interestingly foreign. So, each time i actually leave home, i always feel as if i'd leave a part of me in Singapore then live in this whole new reality that seemed more of a fantasy of its own. 

But since being away for 3 months is not a time too short, this fantasy becomes reality and i realise, hey i'm actually living in china. No parents, no friends that i used to hang out all the time. Its living life on a clean slate, only problem, you just don't know where to start.

If you want to know how's it like for me here. My feelings are rather temperamental and erratic. Some days you feel nothing, some days you realised you've been thinking about home too much and sometimes you might even think to yourself, 'Why the hell am i doing this to myself?' 

Enough said about my feelings, not going to change anything either. So my personal opinion about Dalian. It may not be very accurate but I can vouch that there are people who share the exact sentiments. Metaphorically speaking, Dalian's a newly purchased toy.  For the first few days, you want to play with it and you definitely want to explore the functions of this, in hope that you might find something distinct and really cool about it. 

So days passed and maybe just mere hours, you might think you've found something cool, something you could hang on to that will keep you playing the toy just a little while longer. But all it was, just a delusion of that everybody wants you to believe in. So the moment you wake up from this delusion, 'poof!', novelty's gone.

Like listening to a song on loop, it gets distasteful and finally deafening after awhile and you just wanna trash it.

However, it would be unfair to just criticise on the negative points. I guess i have my fair share of fun when i first came here. I loved the weather, its nice and cold. And I've made some really good friends here, while supposed friends are becoming strangers. 

Drats! I really wished i could fill you in about my life here in Dalian. But I've got a meeting to attend in a couple of minutes and if i was in a better state of mind, this entry would seem a little more sensible and humane. 

As mixed up as this entry seems, so is the fella typing this out. 

 

 

Moving. Away.

I believed i have once mentioned that i'll be going to move on to a new blog and have yet to be materialized. Hence, finally i'm moving to livejournal. I'll put up the link as soon as i'm done looking for a nice layout for the blog.

Next, as you all might already know that i'll be flying off to China, Dalian. As realistic as it could get, i'll be flying off this week! Sunday, 23/09/07, midnight, 0055. Terminal 1.

To all my friends, please be there early, like around 10 the latest?

Bloody hell, i couldn't believe that i'm actually going to be away from Singapore for 5 months. I'll definitely miss the food here and of course, my family and friends! Take care all of you! Will see you guys next year!

Til then, God Bless!

s.u.c.k.s

I officially pronounce today as the most trying, suckiest day of the month.

busy-ness

The feeling of being at somebody's disposal is indeed, pressurizing and punishing. For those who are currently in this state, i feel you man.

I never thought the pressure and responsibilities of one, being a leader could be filled with such surmounting pressure(I mean, I anticipated it to be stressing). Too many responsibilities to be accountable and answerable for, especially when you'd probably be the 'envoy' of messages from one party to another.

Meticulous and concise information, even just small trinket of details left out could cause so much difficulty and inconveniences that one(or me), would never foresee.

It's a challenge being a leader to a group, an agony to be under one's nose.

Month of happenings

As the title says it all, this month's a month full of activities for me. I'm actually in school typing this entry out. How nice, pfft!

Well i'm having my final year project right now and the latest news that i have received, is that i have been chosen for the overseas attachment to China, Dalian! Tentatively, i'll be leaving on the 17th of September, which inevitably, would be this month.

(Bloody hell, the keyboard sucks!)

So i'll be gone for 5 months and will be back in early February next year.

And i realised that damn its just a couple of weeks away, so it's really high time i have to catch up with all my friends before i leave for a long time! Will get all of you guys out sometime soon!

Another update, last week we, The Midas Touch had our Zero2Hero competition at Civil Service College and we got 3rd! So yeah...but i believe we all have done our best in putting all our effort for the competition! It was great!

Concurrently, I have also been working at Comex, IT Fair for three days, last week. First time working for an IT Fair, and i must say it was a pretty good experience, really enjoyed myself and also made some new friends!

If i'm back from China and time permits, i wouldnt mind working for the next IT Fair. Job offers, anyone?

Now, i'm just really tired. I need to catch up on some sleep. Have been sleeping for only 7 hours for previous week til today. Damn it, i feel so lethargic!

Anyway, I'm really happy that i got the opportunity to go overseas for my attachment! Really looking forward to a whole new experience, awaiting for me! But, shit, there's also alot of preparations waiting for me before i leave Singapore...that..i'm not looking forward to.

Okay, i think my lunch break's around the corner. So i'll stop here!

Free!

Oh finally! The long awaited the day has arrived! Can't tell you how elated and ecstatic i am right now. The exams are over and the grueling semester has finally ended! Great!

If there's a day to remember about this year, it will be the 28th of August 2007 at 10.30 am, when the invigilators finally announced,"Okay. Please stop writing. Please ensure that you have written your Admin number and not your name. Do not talk, while the papers are collected." And then a few moments later... "You may take your leave now!" Yes! The magic phrase that determines freedom for the rest of my year - i don't have to take anymore exams for a few years from now!

Okay, back to reality. I know I haven't been updating for God knows how long it is. Then again, just a little update about life happenings right now.

So in a few days time - 1st September at 6.30pm - my band, The Midas Touch, would be performing for the Zero2Hero competition at Civil Service College!

I think it'll pay for all the effort that we have put in for the past few months, getting together almost every week in and week out just to practice as a band for the competition. I don't know how you guys have felt working as a band, but im sure we had our rough times but nonetheless, it's an honor to have the privilege to play with you guys - Aaron, Ariel, Daniel and Darren.

Talented bunch of musicians i must say. Thanks for everything yeah.

Okay, since there's almost nothing much for me to jabber about, i'm just going to head to bed...HAVE A VERY GOOD NIGHT Y'ALL!

to iylia

i know this is a little way too late, but nonetheless, the party was great and it was nice meeting up with you and everyone again! really enjoyed myself! So here's a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO IYLIA! stay cool as always yeah! =)

transformers!

Watched transformers last night at its gala prem. If you like awesome animation and graphics, you should catch this show! Stunningly impressive! Loved it. Although you might sit till your ass burns (its about 2 hours and 45 minutes, by the way), it's worth watching!

Ah well...how technology advances that it can create movies like transformers, as though they were real!

Fantastic. Four.

Just caught fantastic four on Saturday and i thought it was good. Jessica Alba's hot, Silver Surfer's the coolest, man what more would you ask for?


















I think most of you should have caught it and I hope Transformers will be good, saw the trailers and it was pretty impressive. I have to catch that movie in the theaters no matter what!

Anyway, its been 2 weeks that my holidays have passed and damn, it's so freaking fast! I barely relished enough of the seemingly, last holiday of my academic year and its slipping away so discreetly.

Had been going for all(most) of my guitar practices on Tuesdays and Sundays, occasionally going back to school to complete some projects and meeting up with a couple of friends. Of course, not forgetting, the 'dotaing' and all.

So much to do yet so little time to do them. Now, I'm just left with another week of holidays, considering that I've only got 1 paper, so there's nothing much to fret about right now. But i will have to start studying soon.

I pray for a fruitful week ahead of me.

weary

This week was a terrible week. Mentally and physically drained by the pace of life i am having in school. Too much time have been wasted on nothing and it's so frustrating that sometimes, i have too many decisions to make and in turn, i have to sacrifice pre-planned plans for something so last minute that held a higher paramount of importance.

Nonetheless, i thank God this school week's over and i'm going to enjoy my weekends! Have a great weekend!

tight week

Finally! I've gotten the long awaited macbook! Really excited about it and currently I'm using it to blog this entry down. I must say it's pretty difficult to use as I'm a green horn with mac's operating system and it's user interface. But, I'm getting better at it i must say.

Really having lots of fun with it!

Anyway, this week's would be one of the busiest weeks I'd ever have. I'm jam-packed with activities, almost back-to-back. And it's so packed that if anymore shit crops up, i have to start deciding and weighing the importance of the activity and i might have to sacrifice one of them. In which, i do not really like the idea of. Then again - shit happens.

Recently, i just signed up for a competition called, Zero2Hero - a band competition and the interesting part about this competition is about picking up an instrument that you have little or no knowledge about and you(and your bandmates) will have to go through a series of lessons every once a week for about 3-4 months. Finally, there will a band competition at the end of it.

From what i last heard, the band I'm in is bent on winning. So we have to work really hard! By the way, my band mates are Aaron, Ariel, Darren(band leader), Daniel and myself. When's the competition held, I'm not quite sure yet, but will find out soon.

A little update on school. School has been the bulk of all my activities. I don't really know what has gotten into me, maybe it's because it's the last year already and maybe some mysterious motivation hit me one night and i thought i should be more active in school. So yeah, school's been so tiring for me. Every fortnight there's a report and presentation to complete, assignments to hand in. DEAD BEAT.

I'm looking for some breathing space. I just want to see this week pass as soon as possible.

inevitable

Do you remember when we were just kids
And cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss
Schoolyard conversations taken to heart
And laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not

I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, is it over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss

Amazing how life turns out the way that it does
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love

I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, is it over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss

Is it over now hey, is it over now
Is it over how hey, it's not over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have (that you'll ever have)
I wanna be your last, first love (that you'll ever have)
Till you're lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time

re-dress!

Just got a new skin for the blog and its still under construction! So pardon me if it looks quirky and incomplete for now. But comments about the new skin will be most welcome! (only comments about the new skin.)

memorable nineteen

First and foremost let me kick off this entry by thanking Cassie and all my other friends for making my 19th birthday so awfully and horribly memorable. So this entry will solely be dedicated to all of them.

Cassie, thank you for being such a wonderful friend for planning everything since the week before my birthday until the very week of my birthday. First you got the pizzas, then the pair of jeans and the surprise school visit, accompanied with a cake and lastly, a milk bottle filled with all my friends' best wishes and greetings, in which i would say it's sheer hard work! I really didn't expect anything much this year but, well, now it's just too much for me to accept. I truly enjoyed my birthday and you've left me speechless and indebted! Thanks!

As I've promised. Marcus, Stephie, YenLeng, JiaWei, Vina, Cassandra, OC, Dhurga and Zul for celebrating my birthday in school! I seriously didn't see any of these coming, but nonetheless! I'm truly grateful that you guys were part of it! Thank you all!

Wanping, Shumei and Jolynn! Thank you for making a surprise visit at my house in the middle of the night despite having school the next day! Also, for making that wonderful card and the drinks over at cafe iguana! It's great knowing you guys and I appreciate everything that you've done for my birthday!

And the Brotherhood! Well I'm really sorry that i couldn't come down and meet you guys on the following day of my birthday, I had to go over to my aunt's house for my cousin's birthday. Really really sorry, but i just want to thank you guys for writing those birthday wishes that's inside the milk bottle! Rest assured, I will try to spend more time and hang out with you guys more often and yeah, I'll never leave the clique which has been with me since those kickass secondary school days! How could i? ACS FOREVER!

I would also want to thank these people whom have seen me through my life, no doubt they can't be my friends but they are definitely more than friends and has always been there for me. I just want to dedicate this portion of the entry to my aunt and uncle for bringing me up and treating me to a sumptuous birthday meal and the drinks! I just can't thank you guys enough and I thank God that i have relatives like you to walk through life with.

Next, I just want to thank my parents for everything that have done for me for 19 years of my life and everything that they have given me! No doubt there has been many ups and downs but still, I thank God for everything!

Lastly, I just want to thank all my friends for being part of my birthday surprise! Thank you for making it so memorable! You guys rock!

Like every teenager who is so eager to grow up, when they were 13 or 14, they dream of being 16 and when they are 16, they dream of being 18. But now that I'm 19(nineTEEN), which would be final year that i could be a teen, just wish i could stop growing up. I know things will start to change again and i will have to face with many more and different life challenges after this year. But i guess these are things which are inevitable but I must say it scares me somehow.

Once again, I just want to thank all of you who were part of my birthday for making it so enjoyable!

After ending.

It feels strange that an entire week has passed since i came back from Cambodia and I still feel a little foreign in the place i've been living in for like 18 years? Occasionally, i still do think about the fun and the things i did when i was in Cambodia though it really doesnt help much in helping myself to re-adjust back into Singapore's life, the usual routined life.

I set foot into orchard for the first time in 2 weeks on the very day i came back to Singapore and i must say that it seem really weird to me, as if Singapore's the foreign land now. I cannot imagine how just 2 weeks of my time spent in a foreign country, could leave me with such an impact - an eye-opener, life changing.

For the entire week, it felt as physically I am in Singapore yet my soul is still in Cambodia. Maybe it's the first time i've gone overseas, further than Malaysia by myself and experiencing a total different life, a life that was packed with activities and everyday i'm on the move, anticipating for something new that my Cambodian friends would introduce me to. Yes, so simple yet i would say, much fulfilling.

I will never forget these people whom have imprinted their sincerity and warmth into my life...





You've given me a different perspective of life..

Twisted ending

Joom reab suor!

People often say, "don't wish for things that you don't wish for". I think i could personally relate with that. If you have seen the previous entry i left on my blog, i wished that 2 weeks would pass quickly. However, now that I'm back in Singapore already, I really wished that i could still be in Cambodia.
As you could tell by now, I heartily enjoyed myself in Cambodia and it was far from my negative expectations just before i left for Cambodia.

I know my feelings before the trip and after it is rather extreme, but nonetheless, I'm glad I took up the opportunity to go over to Cambodia. It's really an eye-opener. The experiences i've gained from the trip is priceless.

In Cambodia, you get to do things that you can never do in Singapore, however you try to. Their culture is so diverse yet their lifestyle's just so simple that Singapore can't offer. Through this trip, I've learned many life values. One doesn't need extravagance to be happy, all you need is to be contented with the simplest and the littlest things that we have. Ironically, it's so difficult for a Singaporean to achieve happiness and contentment when we, seemingly have more than what they have.

The Cambodians have left a very deep impression on me. Their hopsitality and their genuine sincerity is simply so moving that they made it so hard for us to leave on Thursday, 29/03/07. No doubt, most of them are around the same age as us, but they really know how to make us feel really important.

Anyway, here's a shoutout to the Cambodians at KYA! Thank you for all that hospitality that really made us feel so welcomed! Thank you for all the love, care and concern that you have showered upon each and everyone of our lives during the 2 weeks stay in Cambodia! I truly enjoyed myself and I will never forget all the happiness that you've brought into my life, which i truly appreciate!

I'll miss Cambodia and I'll definitely go back and find them.

The trip

You can say I'm stupid or you can say I'm just out of my mind. But yes, i think I'm both sometimes. Especially when you're talking about making a quick decision which is all so, dilemmatic.

If you know me, I don't actually favor the school im currently in and for all the reasons - both right and wrong - i would actually agree to go Cambodia to do community services. What was i thinking? I wish I knew what was going through that head, when i made that decision on that particular dreadful and fateful day.

I thought Iylia did the right thing, I think i should just slap myself for being such a genius. I don't like the school and I would bother to go overseas (when i wouldn't even do shit locally).

If you ask me what would i benefit from this, let me put it all down on one slate and on another, what would have been sacrificed and lost.

To start off let me just say this, what i would benefit from it, doesnt seem as promising as what WILL be sacrificed. So in short, i don't really give a shit whether i benefitted from this trip, because i don't expect anything out of it. So a couple of pathetic cca points, which might seem almost negligible and what's the price to pay for this? 2 weeks. Next up, 'one-of-a-kind' indelible experience of your life and what's the price to pay? 2 weeks and 300 bucks. Lastly, which by the way, is the only consoling part of this trip, i haven't sat on a plane before and so it's good that i get to sit on one now. And i haven't been to Cambodia before, so it's good that i can go there now. Yes, that is it for all the benefits. Nice?

Delving right down into the sacrificial list, as it's been mentioned twice above, 2 weeks of my entire holiday. Before you start your uproars, i'm going into the second week of my holiday and if i am not wrong, precious holidays will only last for a month and a half. With that, after 2 weeks of Cambodia, a month will pass and i'm left with another 2 weeks of holidays. Next, still on the point about the cost of 2 weeks, you know how many events i would have to hopelessly miss? Brotherhood's going to Malaysia together and I know it's going to be hell of a time when everyone's there. It would seem more logical to spend that money with the school, but what more could you ask if you see yourself having more fun spending time with good friends than...school? Not only will i miss this, but a party that i am invited to by my aunt. A party that will be filled with quality company, good food and drinks. Yet i will be spending my time doing something maybe, you could call it 'fruitful', boring the shit out of me at a place i could even barely call it safe.

Well i'm just going to end the list here. I know, that the money has been spend, air tickets bought and i should make the best out of it. At this point of time, i'm pretty frustrated with making the best out of the situations, (I know this will be a very controversial topic) but it just shows that im so pretty helpless and all i help myself is to relent to the situation i'm in - yes, make the best out of it.

I must say that, that's all that is left to do but i definitely gained one experience from this and WOW, how much of a hassle it could be just to get over from Singapore to Cambodia AS a group representing your damn school. Honestly, I was totally caught off guard about having to attend bonding camps and classes about computer maintenance and all. Little did i know that the level of commitment demanded would be expected for just 2 weeks of community service, totally unprepared for it. Maybe i should "thank" my friend for putting it so brutally nice and bitterly convincing that we would just head over there and setup computers. Well, i would't blame him for it but he was my closest friend in school and maybe, i was too naive to think that everything would be alright if he's going.
Maybe i should think that its fortunate that a bonding camp was planned before the trip, intending to give you a little feel about the people you will be working with and how lonely you will feel, even though you are in such a big group.

Amazingly, even before i step into Cambodia i had already acquired one hell of an 'experience' and with that, i will conclude that you know, going for school expeditions are too much of a hassle and it's nothing that i'd love doing yet too much of a commitment burden to carry during my short-lived holidays.

I cross my fingers that life will not be as bad as i thought it would be and those 2 weeks will pass by in a blink of an eye.

I hate meetings. It's bullshit.

To mars and back.

So finally, I've decided to get my butt down to blogging. But I'm going to keep this short as it's getting really late and i - am a sucker for sleep - need just alot more rest.

I think the last entry did not contain any greetings for the new year, so here's a very belated Happy New Year(Thank God for Chinese New Year)!

Alright, an update about my life at this point of time - nice. But for the past few months...nah. I didnt really have any life actually, it was all about school, meeting project deadlines, studying for all the tests that were bombarded one after another. So..it's one of the factors why i didn't have the time to update this dead blog. HOWEVER, right now i'm just about to try to keep this blog in motion again!

Life's really good now, at least for now. Simply because the exams are over and everything about school's over. And i could finally have some precious time for myself and friends. I can't express how happy or rather relieved i am right now that i could finally have a taste of freedom - sweeeet!

How time flies so quickly, I really do wonder sometimes how'd I ever gone through those dreadful days and weeks and now, I'm moving on to my final year which i must say that I am happy yet sad at the same time. Happy that i am one year away from getting out of the school which i never enjoyed, but i am rather reluctant to grow up.
It's funny how when you were younger, at the age of 16 and you're dying to become 18, but when you've finally reached 18, you wish time would just stop for awhile or even rewind back to the time when you were 17, offering you that privilege of relishing in those moments for at least a couple of years more, yet knowing it's never going to happen.

Life still goes on and on.

I know it's a little anti-climax right now to end this entry here so abruptly, but nonetheless, i need to sleep...Anyway, i hope everyone's doing fine and all goes well for this new year! Goodnights!

Life is so strange