Just completed my communications skills assignment. It is an online assignment and i am suppose to post my comments about a particular discussion topic which was about describing an incident when you were invited to a friend's party and you felt like a stranger over there. Nothing much of a big feat right? I thought so too.(not bragging, im sure anyone could complete it)

Haven't been blogging for a week, so i'll make sure this entry would be lengthy. Just completed my personal development project today and i'm pretty please with it. The teacher gave us quite a good and positive feedback, "Well done, good job!" So i'm sure for this project, we should get a good grade? (WE, is because it was a group effort)

I wasnt busy because of this project but mainly, it was because of helping out a group of friends who are in their third year in Digital Film and Media, to complete their final year project. I was auditioned and surprisingly, i got through the audition and agreed to be their actor in filming.

Of course it wasnt't easy at all and most of the time, when the shootings were too long, i'd become pretty much intolerant and impatient. I never knew acting could be so draining and tiring. Even just to do a simple walking from one point to another that is to be shot at different angles, needs to be re-taken and repeated so many times.

What's more when you are required to do a conversation scene and it needs to be zoomed in, zoomed out or taken at different angles? Exhausting i must say, but it was much a fun experience.

Now, i could understand what my auntie and uncle has gone through. It really is quite intimidating and pressurising at times to perform actions in front of a camera that would be staring at you, capturing every move and every expression you make. I really wonder how some actors or actress have the boldness to actually kiss or strip in front of the camera.

There was a holding hand scene and to me i thought it was pretty scary, especially when you're aware that there's a camera taking all of it down!

Anyway, i went for voice dubbing today and it was pretty interesting, which was quite a good experience too! Now, i'm just waiting for the crew to complete the production. Just can't wait to see the whole complete story, because i dont even know what was the whole story about.

Something for the brotherhood, who went to Sentosa on saturday. Just want to tell the guys that, perceiving from the Sentosa trip. No doubt that we might not be able to see each other often anymore or meet up regularly, organising such group gatherings, it exudes the unity of our clique. May we have more of such group outings so that we could constantly keep in touch with each other. I really enjoyed myself with you guys in Sentosa. Take care bros!

Today's monday, school was fine , as usual it is always blue. Just learned that i've got to hand in my business plan project by next week and we havent even started on it. And after typing out this entry, i've got to complete my multimedia computer project as much as possible. Stressful, but it's still manageable.

I guess the only module i find it a little difficult is engineering mathematics. I'm not quite sure whether is it because of other people who somehow psychological drilled it into my head that differentiation and integration is tough if you did not take it during your secondary school years. Or is it just a little hard to handle by its nature as i'm still a greenhorn to it?

I've just realised that six weeks of school have just breezed past me and the term break is coming in 2 weeks time, including this week. That's an unfortune in disguise of a holiday. Because after the holidays, say hello to all the upcoming common test. Yes, it sucks. No doubt.

Nobody knows, but i'm sure i have got somethings to catch up on. Many more.

After entering into poly for six weeks, i still am not able to get myself a place in the school, i didnt mean that i am an outcast but more of getting myself in a clique. As it was in ACS(Barker Road). Somehow, i also feel that i don't have got many friends around me anymore. My social circle seems to come to a halt and become stagnant for a while. I know it's just too early to tell or say anything still, but with my own eyes i see people in huge cliques or groups and i'm sure they are all from the same class. Maybe what i perceive is only what i receive from the business side and not from the IT side as they started school a month earlier, so maybe they have more or less a higher standing when it comes to being well orientated around the school?

I dont know, but in short, i feel lonely. Lonely not just in terms of not having enough friends in school, but just having someone of the opposite gender. Who could be just by your side and somehow always there for you. I really do feel miserable in that sense. Of course i would say that my surroundings would have pressured me to feel this way but i know deep inside there is a void, a physical/emotional void that can only be covered by a partner.

I know i've got to be patient and wait. But i think the wait is just too long. It's been so long already. Being that long, i thought one would already adapt to the life they are currently living. As for me, i am still not comfortable with this single life that I lead. Ironically, i dont believe in fate but i don't feel fated that i should stay single.

I've lost it once, maybe twice and i've learned something from it but still, i still feel the aftermath of everything. I never thought rejection, whether it's subtle or direct would be so hurting at times. People would often tell me these words of cliche, "why give up the whole forest just because of a tree?" It totally seems logical, but have you actually thought that getting married or being in love requires sacrificing. When you love someone, it's worth it.

I am certain this time about my feelings, it wasnt something that was fugacious. It stayed, took roots and further developed. I'm sure it was pretty luculent even before i've got the opportunity to express it to her.

Maybe it was a wrong move to conclude so quickly, maybe i was maudlin. But passion drives a person, how do i remove this new passion and make defunct yet again?

Well, i'd pray to God and i trust that once again, he would bring someone that would fill that physical/emotional void. But still i thank God for giving me whatever that he has given me.

Thank God that it doesnt affect me when im studying. Thank you.