She Changes Your Mind

She changes your mind when you see the joy in her eyes.
It makes you feel.
She draws your eyes from all the things that have made you numb and makes you feel.
If I could open up my heart and let her out I would never have to sing her name aloud.
It was your "hello" that kept me hanging on every word
and you "good-bye" that keeps me listening for your voice around each corner.
I'll sing songs to help me stay up all night. I don't want to go to sleep.
I'll sing songs and hope you're listening carefully and know exactly what I mean.
It's the song you must seek out when your night has just begun.
In the distance you can find the lips from which was sung a melody.

Null timeline.

Days have past,
months have gone,
years have breezed by,
something's still amiss.
somebody bring me
the last piece for this
vexing void.
Please.
Or is it all in the head?
And expectations?
O God help me!

To see them again.

Then you see an incoming,

captures in your pupil
registers into the memory
you stare, tracing and followed.
Then again, she walks away,
out of side
or the opposite?
Impelling to approach that direction
and you realised,
Just another passer-by.
Hope to see them again.

Third day of the term break and it's moving on smoothly. Which is good. Just completed the exercises for the fourth chapter on electronic fundamentals. So that makes it four chapters down and two more chapters to go!Good.

Still got a whole load of things undone. Such as the second communication skills project and to revise on multimedia computers.

Hmm think i'll probably be meeting up with nathan soon to go to the newly opened national library and bugis. Then after that at about three, i've got swimming. Competition's this saturday, though i don't think i'll be winning any medals or even hitting the fourth position, at least i got the exposure.

So after training, i'll be meeting up with the people i met during the sports camp for dinner. So today's wrapped up with activities and i'm pleased with that. At least a day with some purpose.

I'm ending here, got to start on math now.

Later.

Strolling down the uniformed corridors
staring ahead and scans,
still the same, void.
But it's brimmed with forlorn
and lonelines.
Anybody walking by to stay? nobody.
So you thought you would just
get on your feet and do something
physical.

to iylia, in short.

Since my good ol' faithful friend took some time to write a short testimonial on his blog for me, i shall just follow suit; i definitely owe him. So here's one for you, iylia.

I admit and apologise that i'd forgotten your birthday and really in deep regret about it. But nonetheless, though this might be really late. Once again, have a blessed happy birthday! Indeed i'm glad that i've got to know you for 5 years and we are the faithful B3s! Nobody can beat us! It's royal flush! Don't worry, iylia you're still looking good with your new hair and all. It's nice. Anyway, I'm glad that you're pretty much enjoying life in your poly. And so a new birthday, a year older, i'm sure you've moved away from your moodswings, which is good to hear. Try to quit smoking yeah, it's not good for health and you know it. Don't worry i won't give you a whole lecture about how smoking can harm your health, but i hope the intention of quitting will arrive soon. Lastly, im happy that we're in the same clique, and i'm glad to grow up with you for 5 years too! P.S. what mother thing? tell me! I can't remember.

confession part 3

okay peeps. here's my confession, i've lost some pics due to my folly, i edited the pics on the camera itself before extracting it onto the computer. So i'm sorry, so here's my confession part 3. enjoy people.
part 3

No One Really Wins

Welcome love, I have made a place for you here
And I know every word they say
I don't want it want to make you change

Change if you want, but don't you go and change for me
I can love you as you are
I didn't mean to make you want to leave

In the fight between my heart and mind
No one really wins this time
No one really wins this time

If you don't find a love you want
If I have acted ungracefully
I don't want to see you go
I never meant to make you want to leave

Go if you want
Make your way straight to the door
I hope that you will pack before you go
Cause grace always packs before it starts to leave

In the fight between my heart and mind
No one really wins this time
No one really wins this time
In the endless fight of grace and pride
I don't want to win this time
I don't want to win this time

Change if you want, but don't you go and change for me
I will love you as you are
I didn't mean to make you want to leave

It's a fight between my heart and mind
No one really wins this time
No one really wins this time
In the endless fight of grace and pride
I don't want to win this time
I don't want to win this time
In the endless fight of grace and pride
I don't want to win this time
I don't want to win this time

Today's a sunday. Another week has just passed and the term break starts now.

Last week i was at a sports leader camp, it was for three days and two nights. I'll remember this camp because on the first night, i was trampled with fatigue but i didnt had enough sleep and rest. The first day of the camp was very boring though, all i could recall was just sitting down, cross-legged, cramp, numb and sore on the ass for almost the whole day. Until night time, after dinner we watched saw. Though it's packed with gore and violence but it's a really good show. A fantastic plot twist.

That wasn't the horror, the horror came the next activity, after watching saw when i didnt get enough sleep. The activities for that day ended at 5 am in the morning, the next day. Madness. What the hell did i do? I don't really know either except that i've been carrying people behind my back and going up the stairs round and round like an idiot. That's about all i could remember. I was too tired to think or do anything.

And the next day? We had to wake up at 8? What is that man? 3 hours of sleep? In fact, i didnt even get a full 3 hours of sleep. I think it's only about 2 hours or less. So the next day, after washing up and all the stuff, we had physical training. Trust me, doing push ups on a track ground is a no no for me. Half of my little energy remained was given away not to the push ups, but to enduring the pain on my palm. Thank God, after that we had water activities! Love it.

To say the camp on the overall was pretty okay. Made some new friends.

Last night i was suppose to go for some clubbing event, but didn't go. Somehow, i regretted not going. Because most of my friends are going and yes, it's time to catch up with some of them. I'm sure last night's event was pretty much happening. I didn't go because of four factors. Firstly, you require a ticket but i dont have one. Secondly, the ticket cost 14-15 dollars but i dont have that cash. Moreover, you need extra cash on top of the 15 dollars. Thirdly, i'm underage, so how do i get in or how are my friends going to get me in? Fourthly, i think it's right that i shouldn't go yet?

I guess i'll have my time and fun soon, anyway.

Well i've got church to go for now.

later.

If you were my girl.

If you were my girl
If you were my girl

Aching to see the sun again
Aching to see your eyes to see how they shine
They make this world a better place

Aching to see you smile again
Aching to hear you laugh and say I'm not dreaming

When you caress my hair
Your touch so warm and gentle baby
Then I can see true happiness at last

If you would be my girlfriend
Then I would be in heaven
Then I could do anything
Id stand on my head and sing if you were my girl (girlfriend)

If you would be my girlfriend
Then I would be in heaven
Then I could do anything
Id stand on my head and sing if you were my girl
(If you were my girl, If you were my girl)

I wish I could feel your lips right now
Wish I could let my hand
Glide through your hair
I wish I could softly hold your hand

I wish I could tell you every dream
I wish I could tell you everything that I feel
I wish I could tell you that
I need you here to kiss me baby
If only I could get my self to say

If you would be my girlfriend
Then I would be in heaven
Then I could do anything
Id stand on my head and sing if you were my girl(girlfriend)

If you would be my girlfriend (my girlfriend)
Then I would be in heaven (heaven)
Then I could do anything
Id stand on my head and sing if you were my girl
(If you were my girl, If you were my girl)

There are so many beautiful (so many girls) girls in the world
But there's only one girl that I want (So many girls)
And Ive chosen today that I cant ever stay
Unless I can stay here with you

If you would be my girlfriend (Girlfriend)
Then I would be in heaven (In heaven, In heaven)
Then I could do anything
Id stand on my head and sing if you were my girl (Girlfriend)
If you were my girl

If you would be my girlfriend
(If you were my girl, Id give you the world)
Then I would be in heaven (Yeah, yeah)
Then I could do anything
I’d stand on my head and sing if you were my girl(girlfriend)
If you were my girl

If you would be my girlfriend (My girlfriend)
Then I would be in heaven (In heaven)
Then I could do anything
I’d stand on my head and sing (you know Id do it)
If you were my girl

If you were my girl
If you were my girl
If you were my girl (If you were my)
If you were my girl
If you were my girl

If you were my girl

sentosa pictures

here are the pictures taken at sentosa with brotherhood. =) enjoy all!
sentosa part 2
Note: please get an imagestation account so you can access all the other picture sites as im going to change all the picture sites to imagestation. cheers.

an account of life in a few short days

Just completed my communications skills assignment. It is an online assignment and i am suppose to post my comments about a particular discussion topic which was about describing an incident when you were invited to a friend's party and you felt like a stranger over there. Nothing much of a big feat right? I thought so too.(not bragging, im sure anyone could complete it)

Haven't been blogging for a week, so i'll make sure this entry would be lengthy. Just completed my personal development project today and i'm pretty please with it. The teacher gave us quite a good and positive feedback, "Well done, good job!" So i'm sure for this project, we should get a good grade? (WE, is because it was a group effort)

I wasnt busy because of this project but mainly, it was because of helping out a group of friends who are in their third year in Digital Film and Media, to complete their final year project. I was auditioned and surprisingly, i got through the audition and agreed to be their actor in filming.

Of course it wasnt't easy at all and most of the time, when the shootings were too long, i'd become pretty much intolerant and impatient. I never knew acting could be so draining and tiring. Even just to do a simple walking from one point to another that is to be shot at different angles, needs to be re-taken and repeated so many times.

What's more when you are required to do a conversation scene and it needs to be zoomed in, zoomed out or taken at different angles? Exhausting i must say, but it was much a fun experience.

Now, i could understand what my auntie and uncle has gone through. It really is quite intimidating and pressurising at times to perform actions in front of a camera that would be staring at you, capturing every move and every expression you make. I really wonder how some actors or actress have the boldness to actually kiss or strip in front of the camera.

There was a holding hand scene and to me i thought it was pretty scary, especially when you're aware that there's a camera taking all of it down!

Anyway, i went for voice dubbing today and it was pretty interesting, which was quite a good experience too! Now, i'm just waiting for the crew to complete the production. Just can't wait to see the whole complete story, because i dont even know what was the whole story about.

Something for the brotherhood, who went to Sentosa on saturday. Just want to tell the guys that, perceiving from the Sentosa trip. No doubt that we might not be able to see each other often anymore or meet up regularly, organising such group gatherings, it exudes the unity of our clique. May we have more of such group outings so that we could constantly keep in touch with each other. I really enjoyed myself with you guys in Sentosa. Take care bros!

Today's monday, school was fine , as usual it is always blue. Just learned that i've got to hand in my business plan project by next week and we havent even started on it. And after typing out this entry, i've got to complete my multimedia computer project as much as possible. Stressful, but it's still manageable.

I guess the only module i find it a little difficult is engineering mathematics. I'm not quite sure whether is it because of other people who somehow psychological drilled it into my head that differentiation and integration is tough if you did not take it during your secondary school years. Or is it just a little hard to handle by its nature as i'm still a greenhorn to it?

I've just realised that six weeks of school have just breezed past me and the term break is coming in 2 weeks time, including this week. That's an unfortune in disguise of a holiday. Because after the holidays, say hello to all the upcoming common test. Yes, it sucks. No doubt.

Nobody knows, but i'm sure i have got somethings to catch up on. Many more.

After entering into poly for six weeks, i still am not able to get myself a place in the school, i didnt mean that i am an outcast but more of getting myself in a clique. As it was in ACS(Barker Road). Somehow, i also feel that i don't have got many friends around me anymore. My social circle seems to come to a halt and become stagnant for a while. I know it's just too early to tell or say anything still, but with my own eyes i see people in huge cliques or groups and i'm sure they are all from the same class. Maybe what i perceive is only what i receive from the business side and not from the IT side as they started school a month earlier, so maybe they have more or less a higher standing when it comes to being well orientated around the school?

I dont know, but in short, i feel lonely. Lonely not just in terms of not having enough friends in school, but just having someone of the opposite gender. Who could be just by your side and somehow always there for you. I really do feel miserable in that sense. Of course i would say that my surroundings would have pressured me to feel this way but i know deep inside there is a void, a physical/emotional void that can only be covered by a partner.

I know i've got to be patient and wait. But i think the wait is just too long. It's been so long already. Being that long, i thought one would already adapt to the life they are currently living. As for me, i am still not comfortable with this single life that I lead. Ironically, i dont believe in fate but i don't feel fated that i should stay single.

I've lost it once, maybe twice and i've learned something from it but still, i still feel the aftermath of everything. I never thought rejection, whether it's subtle or direct would be so hurting at times. People would often tell me these words of cliche, "why give up the whole forest just because of a tree?" It totally seems logical, but have you actually thought that getting married or being in love requires sacrificing. When you love someone, it's worth it.

I am certain this time about my feelings, it wasnt something that was fugacious. It stayed, took roots and further developed. I'm sure it was pretty luculent even before i've got the opportunity to express it to her.

Maybe it was a wrong move to conclude so quickly, maybe i was maudlin. But passion drives a person, how do i remove this new passion and make defunct yet again?

If possible, I hope she would reply and give me an answer soon.

Well, i'd pray to God and i trust that once again, he would bring someone that would fill that physical/emotional void. But still i thank God for giving me whatever that he has given me.

Thank God that it doesnt affect me when im studying. Thank you.

Just completed my communications skills assignment. It is an online assignment and i am suppose to post my comments about a particular discussion topic which was about describing an incident when you were invited to a friend's party and you felt like a stranger over there. Nothing much of a big feat right? I thought so too.(not bragging, im sure anyone could complete it)

Haven't been blogging for a week, so i'll make sure this entry would be lengthy. Just completed my personal development project today and i'm pretty please with it. The teacher gave us quite a good and positive feedback, "Well done, good job!" So i'm sure for this project, we should get a good grade? (WE, is because it was a group effort)

I wasnt busy because of this project but mainly, it was because of helping out a group of friends who are in their third year in Digital Film and Media, to complete their final year project. I was auditioned and surprisingly, i got through the audition and agreed to be their actor in filming.

Of course it wasnt't easy at all and most of the time, when the shootings were too long, i'd become pretty much intolerant and impatient. I never knew acting could be so draining and tiring. Even just to do a simple walking from one point to another that is to be shot at different angles, needs to be re-taken and repeated so many times.

What's more when you are required to do a conversation scene and it needs to be zoomed in, zoomed out or taken at different angles? Exhausting i must say, but it was much a fun experience.

Now, i could understand what my auntie and uncle has gone through. It really is quite intimidating and pressurising at times to perform actions in front of a camera that would be staring at you, capturing every move and every expression you make. I really wonder how some actors or actress have the boldness to actually kiss or strip in front of the camera.

There was a holding hand scene and to me i thought it was pretty scary, especially when you're aware that there's a camera taking all of it down!

Anyway, i went for voice dubbing today and it was pretty interesting, which was quite a good experience too! Now, i'm just waiting for the crew to complete the production. Just can't wait to see the whole complete story, because i dont even know what was the whole story about.

Something for the brotherhood, who went to Sentosa on saturday. Just want to tell the guys that, perceiving from the Sentosa trip. No doubt that we might not be able to see each other often anymore or meet up regularly, organising such group gatherings, it exudes the unity of our clique. May we have more of such group outings so that we could constantly keep in touch with each other. I really enjoyed myself with you guys in Sentosa. Take care bros!

Today's monday, school was fine , as usual it is always blue. Just learned that i've got to hand in my business plan project by next week and we havent even started on it. And after typing out this entry, i've got to complete my multimedia computer project as much as possible. Stressful, but it's still manageable.

I guess the only module i find it a little difficult is engineering mathematics. I'm not quite sure whether is it because of other people who somehow psychological drilled it into my head that differentiation and integration is tough if you did not take it during your secondary school years. Or is it just a little hard to handle by its nature as i'm still a greenhorn to it?

I've just realised that six weeks of school have just breezed past me and the term break is coming in 2 weeks time, including this week. That's an unfortune in disguise of a holiday. Because after the holidays, say hello to all the upcoming common test. Yes, it sucks. No doubt.

Nobody knows, but i'm sure i have got somethings to catch up on. Many more.

After entering into poly for six weeks, i still am not able to get myself a place in the school, i didnt mean that i am an outcast but more of getting myself in a clique. As it was in ACS(Barker Road). Somehow, i also feel that i don't have got many friends around me anymore. My social circle seems to come to a halt and become stagnant for a while. I know it's just too early to tell or say anything still, but with my own eyes i see people in huge cliques or groups and i'm sure they are all from the same class. Maybe what i perceive is only what i receive from the business side and not from the IT side as they started school a month earlier, so maybe they have more or less a higher standing when it comes to being well orientated around the school?

I dont know, but in short, i feel lonely. Lonely not just in terms of not having enough friends in school, but just having someone of the opposite gender. Who could be just by your side and somehow always there for you. I really do feel miserable in that sense. Of course i would say that my surroundings would have pressured me to feel this way but i know deep inside there is a void, a physical/emotional void that can only be covered by a partner.

I know i've got to be patient and wait. But i think the wait is just too long. It's been so long already. Being that long, i thought one would already adapt to the life they are currently living. As for me, i am still not comfortable with this single life that I lead. Ironically, i dont believe in fate but i don't feel fated that i should stay single.

I've lost it once, maybe twice and i've learned something from it but still, i still feel the aftermath of everything. I never thought rejection, whether it's subtle or direct would be so hurting at times. People would often tell me these words of cliche, "why give up the whole forest just because of a tree?" It totally seems logical, but have you actually thought that getting married or being in love requires sacrificing. When you love someone, it's worth it.

I am certain this time about my feelings, it wasnt something that was fugacious. It stayed, took roots and further developed. I'm sure it was pretty luculent even before i've got the opportunity to express it to her.

Maybe it was a wrong move to conclude so quickly, maybe i was maudlin. But passion drives a person, how do i remove this new passion and make defunct yet again?

Well, i'd pray to God and i trust that once again, he would bring someone that would fill that physical/emotional void. But still i thank God for giving me whatever that he has given me.

Thank God that it doesnt affect me when im studying. Thank you.

i like you.

i may not be the first or the last one to tell you this and i reckon that you've probably heard these words umpteen times, maybe in different forms and words, but i'd like to say to you simply that i really do like you. And i'm sincerely am interested and serious about you. I don't dare to ask much from you but even if i am not given the opportunity to, i will still say its been great having you as a friend and the very least i could do is to let you know and be honest with you, with my feelings about you. in fact, by what i've been doing lately, i reckon you are already aware about me towards you. i don't play but i slowly am falling for you.

i'm definitely embracing and expecting for the worst to come but still at least this is one burden that will be off my chest soon. very soon.